18.5 weeks

Here’s a picture at 16 weeks. I’ve been having a lot of bouts of insomnia from 2:30-7am and then feel totally trashed the next day. I always feel extremely tired when I’m pregnant, like I have been doing heavy workouts and not eating enough food. The fact is, I don’t get much activity at all when I’m pregnant. I cancelled my YMCA membership in the early weeks because I knew I wouldn’t be using it enough. These days I can lay down and take a nap pretty much every day, especially since my night sleeping doesn’t go so well. Anyone who knows me knows that I normally can not nap, even when I’m exhausted. Usually the extent of resting for me is watching some tv. Today I sleep two hours and could have kept sleeping if Finn had slept longer. Rose is getting more afternoon tv than ever and she is not sad! I am glad she will be going to afternoon kindergarten because I will be able to give her more of my attention in the mornings when I seem to be more productive. I even took a nap in the car on the way to my parents house. Napping in the car in pure daylight. Yep I zonked. When I’m not exhausted or sleeping I feel pretty healthy and I’m glad. I seem to be staying small in this pregnancy, which is nice because I will be comfortable longer. I can still hold Finn ok and get through house chores. Making food is one thing I never feel up to these days. It seems like so much work. I think in partially burned out from trying to think of new things to feed my picky little kids and partially just not as hungry myself. My appetite is smaller right now so I think I turn to easy snacks and therefore junk food rather than make a big meal. I try to still make dinner when I can because I know the baby needs nutrition and healthy food will probably help with my low energy. But it’s not very motivating when I don’t feel hungry. 
Overall I feel very blessed. I think I expected 2nd and 3rd pregnancies to not be quite as exciting as the 1st. And it is true that there’s something special about the first one, however I am surprised by how much the second and third experiences have meant to me too. I happen to be in a ward at church that is full of young families, and all of the women around my age have shown so much excitement for my pregancy these last few months and I so appreciate it. It makes it more fun. You’d think it would be old news since we already have two children, and since Mormons tend to have a lot of kids. But I am so excited and happy to be pregnant even the third time around. I feel blessed to be healthy and that my babies have been healthy. I think I am more aware as I get older of all the things that could go wrong and I just feel lucky. I also feel very excited to meet my new child and to hold him. Those first few moments with a new baby are some of the best of my life and I can’t wait to feel it again. This pregnancy has got me thinking of our present family and future family a lot, of our current children and children unborn. I feel a strong connection to them and I’m getting excited thinking about things like bunk beds and putting together a play room one day and eventually having a back yard with lots of kids stuff. There is a lot to look forward to. These are the things I think many people of my generation do not understand. One or two kids is usually the goal, and three kids, to many people, makes a ginormous family. But to me it is happiness. Of course it is tiredness too. I plan on being tired for about 8-10 more years. Just in time for early morning seminary to begin! Ah!
When we saw this baby in the ultrasound, he was wiggling up a storm and had long legs and feet and little fists. I could kind of tell it was a boy right away.  He was just the cutest and it made it more real for me. Love him! 

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