Fun With Friends

Fun With Friends

I think this will be the beginning of a new series in which I chronicle some memories of my friends and make sense of some friendships in my life.

I have always been the kind of person who only needs/wants a best friend. I never really cared about having a whole fleet of friends around me, just as long as I had “my person” that I could call anytime, laugh with, do anything with, and be myself with. I didn’t care to be close to people who weren’t happy hanging out just the two of us. “My person” changed from time to time, but most of the time I had that one person that I would always call to take on my family trips or to have a sleep-over with or to spend my birthday lunch with. Then one day “my person” wasn’t a girl. And he became my husband. I think it is pretty common for newly married couples to spend less time with their other friends and to be completely immersed in their own world. This was definitely the case for me–for those first few years I felt like I had everything I needed in Raimo–didn’t really care whether we hung out with friends or by ourselves. He is my best friend, and I am totally content to just spend all my time with him. But I have noticed a very significant shift in my life in the last few months. Maybe it had to do with coming out of hibernation after having a newborn baby.. I don’t know. All I know is that all of a sudden I am needing friends. Of course Raimo is still my person. But I want more! I think I have shifted away from the one-friend thing to the fleet. I pick up the phone and call old friends to chat now, I make an effort to do things with new friends, I make a concerted effort to do service for people I care about, I try to keep in contact with people who move away. It is weird for me to be reaching past my one person. I think I am braver and more confident in meeting people. I think I’m not so concerned about controlling what others think of me. I think it’s a good time in my life for this since I really do have a lot more time on my hands (finally). It is a pretty significant change not only in my life, but in my actual personality. One of the benefits is that I glean/gain/learn/enjoy different things about each of my friends. Some of you readers are my internet friends, some of you are my phone friends, some of you are my hang out friends, some of you are friends I barely know, some of you are friends I know very very well. I appreciate each and every relationship for what it is. And chances are, I want to hear from you or see you more often.

2 thoughts on “Fun With Friends

  1. Every time you talk about a new series I think, “Oh I should write about that too.” I'm getting really into the idea of writing my personal history. Since having a baby, I realize my rate of forgetting has sped up dramatically so it seems more urgent. I'm glad to see you're recording all these things that I am sure Rose will just eat up when she's older!

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  2. I agree, that after Beth came I felt like I needed to reach out more. For me, for them, for sanity, to not feel lonely, to feel useful. Taking care of a baby is hard, and reaching out was my way of taking a break. It's hard to switch from a boss who talks to you to one who just screams and cries when she wants something. I think I go through phases too of homesickness and missing friends, and reaching out helps that. I appreciated your facebook post a month or so ago, and it really brightened my day. đŸ™‚

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