Are you getting tired of these??
He was never my boyfriend. He dated one of my girlfriends for most of high school, but we did hang out in groups or at his house sometimes. He lived a few streets away from my grandparents’ house, so he came over to visit me there a few times. My grandpa called him “Danny boy”. They were good pals, and had the Idaho connection since Grandpa was born there and Daniel went to Pocatello on his mission. Daniel was super huge, super fun, and someone I could be really goofy with. We would jam at the piano for fun and mess around at youth events and just have fun together. When I think of my memories of him, I picture the two of us just laughing and laughing together.
Daniel never took the leap to ask me on a real date in high school. It was more of a friendship at the time, however we wrote during his mission and when he came home we did spend some time together. He was still acting strange as a newly returned missionary just getting back into the swing of things, and hanging out together wasn’t as easy as it had been before. Around that time, his brother actually took me on a date (which I don’t think was that great for either of us). Later that night Daniel showed up at my house after the date. He could probably have picked a better night to do this. We took a walk around the block, and after much dilly-dallying, he finally told me how he felt. But the timing wasn’t very good–I didn’t feel the way I had before. And so, after a lot of years of flirting and hanging out together, nothing ever happened.
We were also never officially boyfriend and girlfriend. In fact, we never went out on a real date. But he seems significant enough that I need to share a few memories. We were in choir together, both chamber singers and show choir, and so we saw a lot of each other in high school. There were a lot of things I liked about him: how kind he was to everyone, how he had a strong conviction about God like me, how he was a great singer, how he was really tall and cute. There was a time when we started talking with each other about our religions–we kind of went back and forth over the phone one night. I remember really wanting him to understand and see truth in my beliefs, and I’m sure he felt the same about his own. I think this kept us from ever dating–we were both so involved in our own churches and wanted to share that with whomever we dated. I also felt like his parents didn’t want him spending too much time with me. A few times I went over to his house to listen to him jam with his friends or play with his 11 younger siblings. Yes, I also appreciated the fact that he loved little kids as much as me. All my dating life I was searching for a family man.
Did I tell you he wrote me a song for my birthday? He did. My best friend threw me a surprise birthday party when I turned 18. I think I was still dating Robbie at this point, but at that party Stevie got out his guitar and sang the song for me. I died. So sweet. So up my alley. And later that semester, when we were flying out to New York, we actually sat by each other on the plane ride over. It was totally exciting and we might have been snuggling or something, until the woman (a stranger) sitting on the other side of me started giving us this sermon about chastity/not letting my boyfriend push me into anything. I have no idea where this came from as we were not even dating and both cared very much about virtue. We never talked to each other about that strange experience. It kind of killed the rest of the plane ride. I didn’t see much of Stevie on the trip after that. He was usually surrounded by other girls all the time anyway (a few specific ones that probably had crushes on him too).
There was one kiss. It was totally unexpected. And unexpectedly good. I went over to his house, and somehow he was the only one there. All the details are a little foggy as to exactly when or how it came about– I didn’t write about it in my journal until much later. He didn’t have a shirt on and it was so quiet in the house. It was probably the only time the two of us were ever totally alone, and it just happened all of a sudden. But it was a real kiss, as in a kiss that really made me feel things. This really didn’t happen often for me. It caught me so off guard and it was like all of our unexpressed feeling for each other went into just those couple of minutes. It was a Notebook kind of kiss where he picked me up with ease, and suddenly we’re moving about the house. Even thinking about it now, I can remember that excitement and surprise running all through me.
We never acknowledged what happened or talked about our feelings, which seems really weird to me now. Why ever not?? I liked to imagine what we would have been like together–probably a modern VonTrapp duo, only with more religious themes and church-going.
I love that movie.