Tonight I’m just thinking about people and how they judge each other, and I wanted to write it out to make sense of it. Read on, but be warned that it may be mushy.
There is a girl who doesn’t like my husband very much. I think she just hasn’t really gotten to know the real him–like she hasn’t allowed herself to be close enough to really know his character. Anyone who knows him knows he is really upbeat and positive and also very selfless. While he does like to play the “cool” card, it in no way interferes with his kindness and humility. It got me thinking about how easy it is to make a judgment about someone else, and to then continue thinking badly of them no matter what they do later on. In high school I learned that I had to put myself out there more. I actually felt really shy around people I didn’t know very well, but it ended up looking like I was really snooty. I still try to make a real effort to be friendly–I am just not much of a talker and not particularly expressive, so I know I have to let people know that I really do like them!
So I am just thinking about all of this, and I’m guessing that the majority of the time, we just get people wrong. It’s interesting to think about–there are so many different personalities out there (maybe some more different than others!) and yet we always expect people to think the same thing as us. How backwards is that?
And on a completely different note, I am thinking just how wrong she is and how wonderful my husband is. Sure, he is a cool cat. And he may seem like he is overly confident and perhaps arrogant at times. If she really knew him, however, she would know that he acts that way kind of as a joke. I mean, sure–he likes to dress “cool” and play “cool,” but he is much more than that and is, in fact, a very humble, hardworking, sincere guy and would do anything to help someone else.
I’m thinking about my expectations for other people–I’m sure I have them. And what are they? I expect that they act a certain way, that they will have certain reactions, that they will like one thing and dislike another. Are expectations a good thing? Are they limiting? Or do they help us in some way? It is really interesting.
I think of President Monson’s talk in the General Relief Society broadcast. He could not have been more spot-on in his choice of topic. Women especially are so bad about thinking the worst of others and judging when they ought to be understanding. I know I’ve often pointed out someone’s dirty laundry on the line, when in reality it was probably just my window that needed cleaning. Sometimes those little judgments can blow up to major resentments of others. I am hoping I can see people for who they really are, and I am hoping I can be the person that gets up early to clean that dirty window!